And it's 1, 2, 3, what are we fighting for?

It's that time again, when a lame-dog PM sees a juicy apple fall into his lap. One with 'popularity' writ large. (I apologise to lame-dogs for the appalling comparison).

Yes, it's time for another war, yippee.

So what's this on about? Well, some guy did something bad to his people. I'm sure you've read the news about the alleged sarin attack by the Assad regime. This has apparently 'crossed a red line' of what is acceptable or isn't. As if bombing and shooting the shit out of your subjects isn't that bad, nerve gassing them is. I'm spluttering inside.

Anyway, seeing an opportunity for some mid-term poll boosting we know see the 2 biggest idiots to be given driving licences, BO and DC, waffling on about policing actions, surgical strikes and that old standby 'Humanitarianism'. So, do we 'go in' or do we try diplomacy? The 'go inners' seem to be having a hard time of it; Cameron's just got his majority handed back to him, Germany says 'nein' and others who got their fingers badly singed in the Gulf wars must be groaning 'not again'. That dossier may have done more good than harm if it makes people now actually require 'compelling evidence' before mistakenly bombing a wedding and a picnic in the name of International Law.

Something clearly has to 'be done' about this, and someone has to do it, but the traditional response of bomb first, apologise later seems to be a bit long in the tooth. Given the recent de-bigulation of the UK Army Ltd (very) it seems a bit silly to be sabre rattling (quick, someone nip down to the Game of Thrones set and borrow a sabre, we sold ours) and promising 'quick, decisive action'. We seem to be a bit unsure about what that action will be. Bombing is favourite as it lets us test our weapons; planes and ships and missiles. Troops are a bust as it inevitably gives rise to bad behaviour and protracted acts of terrorism, plus you have to put up with all these people who feel sorry for soldiers when they come back with PTSD (I'm sure it's kinda given that when you join up you're expected to go away and kill people, so you might bear that in mind if you're considering joining up), and complaining about how unfair it all is. War is rarely fair and always grisly. What it always is is brilliant for the winners, especially the Leader of the winners. Thatcher, Bush, Blair and even Major all did their bit to put the 'Great' back in Great Britain (some basic geography revision required there) and now Cameron has picked a loser. Because this is what the Syria conflict is; a loser. It's that situation where you see your neighbour beating the shit out of his wife on their back lawn and you go over and beat the shit out of him. He'll hate you, his wife probably won't thank you and the law will criticise you for not reporting them to the 'proper authorities', who can't do anything anyway. After which he'll make your life a misery by playing loud music at night, parking his car over your drive, and all the other petty misdemeanours he can think of, and you'll wish you'd never bothered. Sure, the wife might have ended up in hospital but your lawn would be clean. You'd feel like a coward for the rest of your life, but that life would be easier.

We, the West, the Allies, made Syria along with all the other Arab nations after WW1. We got it wrong then and we've been getting it wrong ever since.

Why can't you be more like me? (or, how not to make a big splash)

I'm currently up skilling, or skilling up, or learning some new stuff, and it entails listening to some Web-Ex recordings. Now some of you will already be lapsing into paroxysms of lethargy due to your own experiences with this marvel of the age. The problem is a straightforward one; you have to be more interesting!

I've sat through dozens of these but I've also done quite a few as well, and I'm, always struck by how different people perform when they are 'virtual'. Otherwise fluid speakers are reduced to gibbering morons, diction gets left in the suitcase in the hotel and the distant learner begins to feel, well, distant.

WebEx and Adobe both offer training courses to prepare you for this type of delivery but does the acquisition of some technical skills really prepare you for delivery?

I recently did a wholly virtual course on virtualisation (I know) to a bunch of guys in Canada, the US and Brazil (well, the Brazilians didn't show, but I had to prepare for them anyway). As is the way in technical training, budgets are slim and accommodation and travel can take a big bite out of what you have. So I had my guys from Mississauga, Ohio and Houston all desperate to learn the mysteries of VMware. 5 days, 9 hours per day and all virtual.

In training you have to engage your students, or whatever the hell you call them in your world. In a V class you have to be extra vigilant and take that much more notice of their language patterns and even their silence patterns. Take some time to socialise a bit, get to know your guys and never talk s about anything contentious (yes, religion, politics or gun control). Above all though, be interesting. Be prepared and try your very best to, uh, not ah, hold on a minute guys.............................got it, waffle! Use modulation more often, inject real interest, or as much as you can fake, into your delivery. Emphasise that you're a long way from them too and get them on your side.

Some simple tips, folks but none more important than ....  switch your mic off before you go to the bathroom.