And so this is Christmas, or so we are told.

Another year older, and I feel so fucking old.

Christmas, or the season of peace on earth, goodwill to all men, is here again. walking through London yo meet people wearing Santa hats and sparkly things and it feels nearly nice. In reality there is still the seething resentment to be had because you've got a better job/more money/a better wife/a nicer car than me.

I've been coming to London for over 30 years now, indeed I served my time as a resident of the Capital for some 5 years and in that time what has changed? Well, I'm in the minority now, with most Londoners being non-white (what does that even mean?) and Christianity on the run and heading for the heterosexual hills (no girls allowed(if the Church hates homosexuality, why won't they let women in?)) and battening down the hatches.

The fact that the term non-white has been used is in itself massively racist. Is there an alternative non-black/non-brown/non-yellow/non-off white, kinda creamy? This country has the genetic equivalent of a multi-fruit and veg smoothie, with most European races in there along with some fringe elements of those Asian types who made it into the shopping malls of Europe. So Britain has been non-indiginous for a long time, but we seem to think that being brown/black/other colours are also available still marks one out as a possible outsider. But I know some brown/black people who have been here a lot longer than some of the new white invaders; Polish, Slovak,Other Whites. 2nd and 3rd generation Jamaicans, Africans, Indians and so on must be feeliing a bit confused, surely.

So far I've only seen Daily Fail type headlines warning us of the impending Middle-European invasion but nothing on-going. I suppose even middle-class white folk need to use plumbers sometimes.

At least I didn't hit you!

This title will resonate with a wide range of people, and not in a good way. It's a phrase used by people who seem to feel that drunbken abuse, huilitation, psychological terrorism, bullying or a plain lack of respect can be mitigated by the fact they never gave you a bloody nose, or worse. Sticks and stone may break my bones but a healthy diet and some healthcare will allow these to heal, whereas words might have a lasting psychological effect that may be all most impossible to cure. So what's worse, a punch or a nasty name? Well, neither, really. If you love someone don't be rotten to them.

Sadly, for some, the title doesn't apply and we did get hit. Physical abuse is often accompanied by the head variety and is often in the headlines; news, Twitter campaigns, FB pages and so on. Almost exclusively dealing with violence towards women. Children have floated to the top of the league lately with the appalling revelations regarding one James Savile and his penchant for taking advantage of children in his orbit. All this is good (the highlighting and discussion, obviously). There is still a dark corner that rarely gets discussed though.

I'm 6' 1", kept reasonably fit, done several martial arts and am more than ready to stand up for myself and others. Usually. But a skinny 5' 10" lass ruined my life by regularly getting drunk and verbally and physically abusing me. We had a young Son and I was adamant we would give him a 2 parent home, I was also scared about his well being as she would be massively unstable when drunk, drugged or a combination of both. I put up with this for 12 years until, aged 14, our Son, witnessing another Christmas meltdown, looked at me and said 'I don't know how you put up with this, if it was I'd have left ages ago'. So we sat down and had a conversation and I left her. Telephone calls at inappropriate times, filled with vitriol followed and my self esteem, already low, continued to suffer.

He grew up and left home, she took up with a guy with similar habits and now she's watching her liver disintegrate and, aged 44, is looking at not reaching 50.

I have no idea why I didn't just knock her out, maybe because it's fundamentally wrong to hit anyone who isn't actually threatening your life, maybe because of an old fashioned idea that you shouldn't hit women, itself inherently sexist (she was so small I was also scared I'd kill her).

Away from her for over 7 years and, at last, I'm getting some of the old, happy-go-lucky me back. It's taken time and the love of a good woman but it's there. I'd give people advice, but people gave me advice too and my own sense of stubbornness made me want to do things 'my way'.

But.

You don't have to stay, you don't have to put up with it. It can be better.

Now then, now then. 'Ows about that then!

One of the most identifiable 'catchphrases' on the planet, and now the cynical signal that we have a Savile remark showing up.

Hmm.

 JS had a reputation for both little girls and being a vindictive power/control freak. I think there can be little doubt that he is guilty, it's only by what degree. I think it would have made a difference if all of this attention had been focused on the miserable old git while he was still alive. Deconstructing the power structures of a dead man doesn't send a positive signal to those being abused by the living. Illness or just being evil? Doesn't matter, either way these people need to be isolated until either they are 'cured' or rehabilitated, with no 2nd chances. The people they abuse don't get a 2nd chance.

The media seems to be on the verge of a frenzy here as one of its own is being examined under a harsh spotlight. This is nothing new; Barrymore, Gadd (Glitter, boy, I bet he wished he'd come up with a different stage name now), the list goes on, and ever backwards. The career of Roscoe Conklin 'Fatty' Arbuckle was decimated after claims of sexual impropriety were made and he was vilified, even though he was found not-guilty of the murder he was charged with. The difference is that Savile appears to have either had 'connections' with powerful and bad people or he pretended well, either way he was an intimidating and manipulative man.

What will happen? Well, it looks like he's been tried in the court of public opinion and will be forever tarnished; the accusations and suspicions come from too wide and varied sources; TOTP guests, Esther Rantzen, a Nolan sister and more. Yes, attitudes have changed but that means nothing, it was never OK to put children up chimneys and it was never OK to coerce vulnerable people into sexual acts. This might sound like a bandwagon statement, but I don't really care. I never liked Jimmy Savile, I thought he was a piss taking falsity of a man who assuaged his guilt and darker predilections by working for 'good causes' (for which he may have had genuine motivation). That he also used these activities to mitigate and protect himself makes him twice as reprehensible in my eyes.

Strip him of his awards, remove his plaques and either rebury him flat (he doesn't deserve his view of the sea) or cremate him so that his grave doesn't act as a magnet for weirdos.

Today, I'm gonna have myself, a real good time. I hope I do-on't get caught!

This morning was a contrast of sorts.

Not too long ago I saw a smug American extolling the virtues of the partisan crowd in boosting sporting performance. Oh, how the incoming Europ.... sorry, yooropeens would be given a rough ride when they arrived. I was intrigued, at least until I discovered it was about a golf game that was being payed 'over there', and I lost interest. Subliminally I became aware of a mighty rout of Yoorups' golf guys and more smugness of the 'Mrkn persuasion. This morning I find that Yoorup did something good and Wood splintered, or something. The spirit of Ballesteros was invoked, or evoked, I'm still unclear as to which, and them pesky 'Mrkns lost by a splinter.

Given the overall cuddliness generated by the Olympic games this level of European togetherness in overcoming a bigger, richer and more confident nation actually made me grin, and I don't even like golf!

On the other hand, that icon of Britishness, Jimmy Saville, seems to have hit the buffers. The least said about him the better, I think.

Dammit, I missed.

Occasionally, while walking around, I'll get a really good idea for a blog post. I'll get back to my gaff and then do something, anything, but not write a new and wonderful missive for the world's edification.

This annoys me.

My much better half, she who is the guru of the mind and thought herder extraordinaire, has given me a cure for this; she bought me a neat little notebook that I can use to jot down all of my thoughts and musings 'on the fly'. This is a fabulous thing!

All I need to do now is remember to take it with me!

Why can't we change? Again!

I wrote this as a response to a post in Facebook and it got kinda out of control. So I cut it out and put it all here.

I believe in anarchy 100%. I also believe it is fundamentally unattainable. The problem is that 100% of people need to believe in anarchy for it to work, and all of those people need absolutely equal access to everything. In order for that to happen someone must take charge, why? Because a camel is a horse designed by a committee, because nothing can be built without teamwork and communication, and for that to work it needs to be co-ordinated, co-ordination needs to be strong and led by competency. Not everyone will be, nor needs to be, competent to do everything.  Leaders emerge, organically and naturally, in every species, from the ant to the person. Those who don't indulge in society lead marginalised lives on the constant edge of annihilation The human race stands alone in its capacity for love, creativity and glory on top of cruelty, deception and abuse. This is what we are. We can wish, hope, argue and stamp our feet all we want but it will change nothing in the short term. Had there been a a better way we would have found it (we've had tens of thousands of years of painful evolution, learning and development to do so. To expect us now, at this moment in time, to be able to find a way that is better than last years is both futile and wasteful. Live, grow, try to make your own life better, and by extension the lives of others. do unto others and hope they don't fuck you over. I believe in anarchy 100%, but I'm also a realist, and a cynic. Yet I am a dreamer and hopeful. We can ask for nothing more than what we can take from this life without hurting others. If others do the hurting, well, fuck 'em.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the current leadership of the planet, be it tiny fiefdom in the jungle, emergent state in an area of flux or well established 'democracy' we are all still engaged in the diplomatic fuckwaddage of the past. Why? Because we are humans, and this is what humans do. Very rarely has a leader of a country had a lasting and profound effect on the social infrastructure of their respective lands. change has come from the constant and persistent whining of those prepared to stand up, and occasionally be knocked down, for a 'cause'.

Government and leadership is both fluid and dynamic. sadly neither of these in a constantly positive direction. History teaches us this, why do we keep ignoring that?

(Well, becaue we're all pissed off and want change,m that's why, so even if we did reach nirvana we'd get bored with it and want something different! (and yes, I know the proper meaning of nirvana.))

Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you.

It's July and there's a good impression of November going on out there; fog and rain and humidity.

No, I'm not going to indulge in that English-ism of wittering on about the weather. Except I am, sort of. Briefly.

It must be absolutely plain to even the thickest that the weather is weird. Regularly weird. A month's worth of rain in 24 hours (and that month was probably January, not July), America and us having more super-cell thunderstorms, Russia with multiple deaths and floods, Washington at 112f records.

I can now confidently predict that the involved governments will now start concentrating on ..... lining their own pockets, protecting the fiscal status quo and screwing over the people so we're too worried about paying for our broadband to care about climate change.

We need some leaders, not peacock brained fuckwits from the upper classes.

As David Bowie once sang; oh no, not again!

On Monday, upon return from a relaxing fortnights holiday, I went back to work to receive the news that my company had sold my company to another company.

Bugger!

Given that this would be my third experience of this, neither of the other two had ended well for the previous companies I'd worked for, I started worrying. Now this process will take some time, EU competition laws mean a 3 month farting about period while the i's get crossed and so forth. I'm also informed that nothing can be 'done' to us for a year, so there's 'nothing to worry about in the short term' (a philosophy that has landed us, as a species, in the ordure more than once). Time to take stock.

I'm in my late 50's so my options are limited; a spell in the forces, volunteering overseas (my wife would love that one), sell up and join a touring rep company, retrain (still a possibility) as an acrobat (hmmm, maybe not then) and so on. One re-evaluates the skills set one has accrued over the years, reflecting on missed, lost or ignored opportunities. It's one of those 'interesting times' that the Chinese wish upon you when they're a bit less than keen.

It did make me think, however, of the incredibly unfair society in which we live, where decisions made by people who are fairly well insulated from fiscal non-viability affect those of us who are mere puppets of a capitalist conspiracy to, well, you get the picture. Of course this is about Bob diamond. and Nick Leeson and George Osborne, Gordon Brown and all the others.

I have a Son, coming up to his 21st Birthday, who has rarely worked. A fanatically funny and energetic lad as a youth, class joker and all that, who was effectively told not to be so happy and frivolous. A boy who needed stimulus and fairness more than anything but who was let down by a systems designed to stamp out well-behaved fodder for the jobs market while adhering to Government/OFSTED quanta and targets. After an altercation with the school bully he was expelled, but not expelled, that halfway house called exclusion; he had to work from home. After an unsuccessful year he got little in the way of qualifications but was lucky enough to find a placement on an apprenticeship. 6 months playing with woodworking tools in an attempt to give him building skills. The advice seemed sound; in a couple of years time the Olympics will absorb thousands of builders and there will be a shortage around the country, can't fail. then the economy tanked and it all went Pete Tong.

Fast forward to now. Those Olympics are upon us, the labour was cheap and plentiful but the rest of the country has little in the way of building work.Thousand languish, my lad amongst them. His Mother and I separated due to her alcoholism and he left home to live with his girlfriend. But, he can't find work, the DWP have sanctioned him for some spurious reasons (among thousands of others) in an attempt to lower the unemployment figures. He now faces the undignified prospect of having to give up his home because he's, gasp, under 25 and not living at home, so his chances of having a relationship are now under threat.

All of this is because some guys who have 6+ figure salaries and get bonuses when the fail got greedy (or stupid, I can't make up my mind which). And that, sorry David, pompous ass Cameron, privately educated from a fund that he seems to want to deny others the ability to build, wants to remove a substantial proportion of the safeguards put in place by several generations of  government, to avoid/stop a 'culture of dependency'. A culture made inevitable by the actions of a monied few who have mismanaged the wealth of our nation/planet. and based upon the actions of a minority of fiddlers who have taken the system for a ride.

Just like the bankers!

So, while Bob Diamond gives up his job for the sake of the bank 'he loves' and the real culprits evade detection, what will Cameron do about this? bugger all, I suspect.

It's time for change, and we all should be making noises to make this happen.

Sorry if this was a bit tedious but I had to get it out. I suspect I'm not alone on this one.

Bully for you.

Bullying is a problem, we know this. Very few people go through life without being bullied at some point, by someone. I know I've been bullied mercilessly.

On the other hand I know I've bullied someone. I've probably bullied someone without realising it. I bet you have too.

Bullying has been turned into a 'cause', something to be 'tackled' or 'dealt with' and in doing so has become seriously misunderstood.

The case of Jordan Green, a young Harrogate boy who took his own life gave rise to rumours of bullying which subsequently led to a firestorm of activity in the twittereverseablogosphere, activity ranging from 'what an awful shame' to 'grab your torches and pitchforks folks, we're a going' to a lynching. And then his mother releases a statement decrying the press for misrepresentation and misreporting of the case, stating there was no clear reason for Jordan's suicide and that bullying was not a significant factor. It all went terribly quiet after that.

Now bullying is a problem, but it's not a problem that is new. Is bullying getting worse? No one knows because any statistics are guesses or extrapolations of thin data, but we all have our own stories. I'm kinda dyslexic and OCD, not massively but enough for me to have been labeled 'stupid' by my teachers (I was educated before Man went to the Moon). I was bullied by my teachers and a large number of schoolmates. In those days I was told to 'just stand up to them', a technique that either a) got me a hiding, b) gave me sway over my bully, allowing me to now bully him, or b) end up earning respect, grudging or otherwise, from my peer group.

Then I had children. boys.

No 2 Son grew up with an astonishing sense of right and wrong and an almost pathological hatred of injustice, so when the local school bully tried it on he ended up with a bloody nose. Guess who the school came down hard on? At the meeting I queried the head as to how he was going to end bullying? given that the human race has been bullying away for thousands of years, any such 'cure' would surely be aligned with the discovery of DNA or the wheel? He said a program of awareness and counselling. I simply stopped at that point, his assertion that bullying 'would not be tolerated' led me to reply 'how do you know who the bullies are? He had no effective method of finding out, outside of the bullied telling him (and we all know what a tell-tale gets). I left the meeting with my opinion of bullying, and bullies, unchanged. It's a part of who we are; politicians bully each other on TV all the time, employers, employees, wives, husbands and children all bully each other. sometimes we call bullying by other names and use many different passive/aggressive techniques. We will never eradicate bullying, it's as much a part of us as intolerance, bigotry and kindness.

So what can we do? Well, stop overreacting to tales of bullying and cut out the rhetoric of the evangelistic, 'this must stop', 'something must be done', 'join the Parents Against Pressure group for a midnite walk against bullying'. To lose a child is appalling, to lose a child to suicide is doubly so, (I had a nephew who took his own life at 17, he wasn't being bullied he just saw no point to his life; no job, no prospects, a society short of care). To then have that child's death mistakenly appropriated for a cause simply amplifies the pain.

As well as all of us being bullies, we almost always have jerky knees. Heidi Green, I'm sorry for your loss and for all you have gone through at the hands of the ant-bully bullies!

What price 'freedom'?

So, I'm sure the opinion-sphere will be awash with righteous indignation over the World Ending news that a pub in Coventry didn't do anything.

Brown's Independent Bar, in Coventry, turned away some squaddies in uniform as they have a policy that says, we won't serve people in uniform. This is a policy that the bar had in place, presumably, for a while. I know lots of bars like this and I can't see the problem (well, I can, nut more later). My own thoughts are thus; why would you want to go into a public bar, for the purposes of leisure, in your uniform anyway? Coppers don't do it, Fireman don't do it, why should soldiers/airmen/sailors be any different? Isn't this the freedom we expect that our forefathers fought for? What is the problem with forces personnel going into drinking establishments? Well, not to put too fine a point on it, they often get drunk and arsey, that's what. I don't give a hoot whether you've just come back from Afghanistan or Salisbury Plain, if you walk into a bar, get drunk and start on with all this 'I fought for your freedom' bananas then you'll cause problems. My home village had one clever lad, a Marine, who would regularly consume large quantities of ale and proceed to tell any bloke within boring distance that he'd be able to 'take them'. Inevitably he'd be asked to leave and then he'd start on about how he risked his life and blah blah blah. Basically he was spoiling it for all those other folks who approach their service with dignity.

For landlords faced with similar problems, putting an embargo on uniforms is often the only way to prevent such events. Several of my forces friends have bragged about tussles with their comrades of the Air, Sea and Earth, all friendly like, that have left pubs and bars wrecked. But it's all OK, 'cause we're freedom fighters.

So, this bar in Coventry had the temerity to refuse to serve some squaddies. Unbeknownst to the barman these particular lads were seeking rest and respite from a funeral, so when they were refused service their own subjectivism kicked in and the funeral assumed a pivotal role in the story; pall bearers of a dead hero were refused a drink, the implication being that some dire act of betrayal had been perpetrated on these scions of Britannia. No. It was a mistake, nothing more. Had the owner been aware of the nature of the men's visit then a different outcome would have ensued.

The owner of the place has made an unreserved apology to the widow of the dead soldier, an apology which has been accepted once the actual circumstances of the event had been laid out. So all's well that ends well then, eh?

Not quite.

The facebook page calling for the boycotting of the bar (in itself an act so repellantly against the very tenets of freedom) has allowed every lowlife thug with an axe to grind to post threats and slurs in a manner that anf fascist would be proud of. That a misunderstanding could give rise to such demonic levels of hatred leaves a bitter taste, especially when carried out in the name of 'freedom'.

I have every respect for those who would put themselces in harms way for the benefit of others, but doing so should not give anyone carte blanche to dictate how those freedoms are used. There will be things you don't like but cannot stop, that's why it's called freedom. While I have no particular thoughts on the bar in question I do find the over-reaction by the services and those that support their actions, to be thoroughly reprehensible and of a level of bullying that the forces have been traditionally known for and seem unable to eradicate.

I'm nearly a Beleiber, nearly.

So, young Justin is a wanted desperado and the world seems to like this.

Why?

Why does a young lad, who can sing and act, who chooses to go down a commercial route and make a lot of cash deserve such hatred?

Well, TJ, it's because he's a sell out. He's a music-whore, his music has no worth and it's bland. I like my music a-la-Hicksian, played from the heart.

Yeah yeah, blah blah, heard it all before.

Listen, yeah, you too. there's only two kinds of music; good and bad. Outside of that you can listen to what you want to. If your problem is that prepubescent girls don't know the difference then your problem isn't with the producers, it's with human nature. If you're really that against exploitation then there are several places to start with the eradication programme before Justin Beiber and Simon Cowell and the rest even come into sight. Genital mutilation, sexism, racism, people who prey on the old and disenfranchised, our own Government removing benefits 'cause their fat cat mates fucked up the economy, Ukrainian hooligans, drug dealers who prey on kids, there is a substantial list.

JB was visiting a store with his girlfriend when a photographer approached them and wanted to take pics. a scuffle ansued and the photographer has made a complaint. The feds are after JB.

Until the details are firnlu established we don't know if the snapper is a fuckwad with an entitlement complex or a genuine victim. But JB seems to be already guilty of, well, being a pop star and so subject to ridicule.'t understand is the amount of vitriol poured over him for being, well, young, rich and successful? Is he any more reprehensible than a banker or arms dealer? so what if his music is bland and poppy, 13 year old girls of a healthy disposition won't usually choose depresso music to listen to. they want fast, simple, disposable pop that they can embarrass their kids with in 30 years time. Rib the guy, sure. everyone deserves a little criticism but let's not hate someone because they're younger, richer and have more women than us?

Oh, wait.............

Depression, it's so depressing.

It's awful that a depression related death is needed to start people thinking about depression. Gary Speed's death will no doubt bring depression to the fore, at least until something else bad happens. I'msure there will be many blogs

Sale, all items MUST be sold.

Odd things cross ones mind in the shower. It all started with the usual bumping elbows, lost soap and nowhere to rest ones leg while soaping the rift valley regions. In the process of designing the perfect shower stall my mind wandered to the problem of selling such a concept and thence onto the very nature of desire and, just around the next corner, philosophy and the concept of human traits, and their primary bearers, as items for sale in a shop.

Bear with me, please, it does go somewhere.

If one were to be, Apprentice-style, saddled with the task of selling humanity as a viable concept, where would you place the things that make the human race? walking through the door we'd see Plato and Socrates, exasperated with Camus, patiently extolling the virtues of us. Albert would be juggling infinity while getting younger the faster he juggled. Demosthenes would be taking a poll of reactions and Pasteur would be mopping up the detritus left behind by browsing customers.

I'm sure you've got the picture now.

Venturing further into this emporium of ethos we'd see Mussolini and Hitler being interviewed by shop security; Eisenhower and Churchill in ill fitting polyester, their bellies hanging over waists-a-jungle with the keys to freedom and democracy. The 'Made in N Korea section, sadly cordoned off awaiting an import licence, shoddy goods on display bearing familiar logos.

Arriving at the rear of the store, perhaps a plethora of Gazzas shoplifting some lager and  fishing rods while a clutch of Jordans holds their coats. A billion track suits glinting in the harsh lighting while a gaggle of folks, who really thought they should be at the front and can't understand why this isn't so, fight for some attention by cuddling a Murdoch or a Maxwell, while various well dressed, and less so, vie for the attention of the over-dressed merchandisers arranging the display.

We turn to leave this bizarre display and walk, rather quickly, to the door. only briefly looking up at the sign on the way out. Thank You for shopping at the PoundStore, please come back soon.

Space exploration looks more inviting with every passing day!

2012' dawn of a new age, again.

So, having experienced the first twitches of o12I am of the opinion that we have suffered enough and it is time to let us start working and spending again, otherwise the Daily Mail will have us all murdering non-EU in their thousands.